Thursday, June 03, 2004

Mark Geragos, aka "Don't Hate me Because I'm a Slimeball"

Just when you thought it was safe to assume Johnny Cochran depicted the lowest of the low, now we have Mark "Don't Watch My Hands, Folks!" Geragos. Proving that, in the world of criminal defense, the limbo ain't no children's party game.

Geragos, who once assured a jury he could and would provide receipts for Winona Ryder's, ahem purchases. . .who once asked the jury for said trial to believe him rather than what their lying eyes showed them, via closed-circuit store video. . .Geragos, who even Michael Jackson apparently found lowly. . .should be disbarred.

Oh, sure. The man so owns all that's cheap and theatrical he's like the bastard child of Barnum and Bailey's one-nighter under The Big Top. He makes it look effortless. Hell, it probably is effortless - for him.

But ethical? His efforts on behalf of Scott Peterson are anything but. Since taking the case last summer, he's made public statements that he would "in days, if not hours" expose the real killers. That Amber Frey was involved in Laci Peterson's disappearance. That a "satanic cult" was involved. That some granny was a stealth juror, impaneled and sworn for the sole purpose of frying Scott.

Evidence? Geragos don't need no steenkin' evidence. Don't trouble him with things as paltry and meaningless as facts.

His latest, defense tactic. . .is to state that the unborn child of Laci Peterson was actually born. Forget that the autopsy shows an undilated cervix and no botched c-section.

Because everybody knows that satanic cult members want to perform ritual sacrifice by removing all the organs housed in the ribcage on upwards in order to get to the child.

Like going to Panama by way of Alaska - it makes no sense.

Another Geragos Gem? Scott is stone cold innocent.

How to prove that one wrong? Easy. Take a look at all the crazy funhouse hoops his defense attorney more than willingly jumps through in his ludicrous attempts to utilize any nutty idea necessary to get his client off.
Smacking of five-parts desparation to two-parts silliness, his theatrical contortions atop Implausible Cliff make it obvious that even he finds Scott Peterson impossible to defend in any realistic, ethical manner.

Instead of justice, we're gonna get a three ring circus.

Step right up, one and all. Just don't look too hard at the man behind the curtain; he's sweating.

Ya, cause *everyone* who's innocent is found mere miles away from the Mexican border with a pocket fulla' cash, a fake i.d., and an altered appearance.

Scott Peterson, you'll get yours.

I'm truly worried that Peterson will walk. The prosecution is all earnest and detailed; that doesn't 'play well' to any group fed and housed on soundbytes. Geragos, for all his massive failings, is adroit at bringing easily digested soundbytes to the jury. Anymore, style beats substance and I'm worried the pros hasn't enough substance while Geragos has the style.

Scary thought, huh?
Not to worry, guilty or innocent, Peterson's ass is sooooo FRYed.
Wanda -

If he was innocent, I wouldn't want to see him go down. Then again, an innocent client doesn't require a defense attorney whose best talents are in parlor tricks.
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