Incendiary Advice

Back in the day when IBM clone 286 computers were all the rage we used to play MUDDs, or text-based group computer games. My favorite was Dragon's Inn on a local Bulletin Board that also carried the Barney Food Fight game where you would take out latent aggression by pelting the big purple annoyance with various foodstuffs.

Anyway, this is a new MUDD, brought to you from the fantastically fertile mind of Matthew Baldwin and his Defective Yeti blog:

The game begins like this. To see how it ends, head to Matthew's blog via the link above:

Xyzzy

Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure
Revision 88 / Serial number 54892

Oval Office
You are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you.

There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.

What do you want to do now?

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> LOOK MIRROR
Self-reflection is not your strong suit.

> PET SEAL
It's not that kind of seal.

> EXAMINE CHAIRS
They are two several chairs arranged around the center of the room, along with two couches. Under one couch you find Clinton's shoes.

> FILL SHOES
You are unable to fill Clinton's shoes.

> EXAMINE DESK
It is a large, oak desk, with several drawers.

In one drawer you find a bag of pretzels.

> EAT PRETZEL.
I don't think the pretzel would agree with you.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> GO RIGHT
Far-Right
You are on the far right of the political spectrum.
Jesse Helms is here.
John Ashcroft is here.

> GO RIGHT
Radical Right
You are on the extreme right of the political spectrum.
Dick Cheney is here.
Pat Robertson is here.

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> TAKE VACATION
Taken.

It gets even better.

Edit: Link to Matthew's blog wasn't working. Is now.