Incendiary Advice

Uh-oh. Having spent so much time away from politics, immersed instead in the world of Oscar and his grouchy, frenetic fans, I find myself not caring about returning.

Which must be how the other Oscar prognosticators feel, too - about reality. In their world it's always happy and filled with uber good looking movie stars. Just like in the world of online anime, even George Bush can be ignored if one focuses long enough at Gaia.

The Internet is filled with people enraptured with all possible minutiae relative to any subject in the world.


Sick? Try one of the 8,000 sites dedicated to discussing every ache and pain imagineable. Want to work on cars? Here's 1200 web addresses devoted to the wellness of your carburetor. And, of course, for those of you wishing to get your freak on, there's always endless Internet porn of every imagineable configuration, concoction and coupling.

Just last week I used Firefox to select a new refrigerator with an icemaker. Different than the icemaker I've had for a year now - the one somehow located in the crisper bins. Not described in the manual, it makes huge blocks of weird-colored frozen stuff.

And yesterday I used the World Wide Web to change a lightswitch.

Which would be a handy, amazing thing if you don't consider shelling-out $60 a month and paying $1200 for a computer an exorbitant expense for what's essentially the changing of a $2.00 part.


Hey - at least I didn't need a manual! Although a downloadable one was there in .pdf form, just in case.

Who knew, back in 1994 when the virtual doors first opened on our local freenet, that we'd someday have this amazing connection to other human beings?

Or that it'd enable us to pursue existence with myriad higher purposes, such as looking at celebrities, creating Oscar lists, completing mundane household tasks, finding Milfs Around the World and arguing ceaselessly with Joaquin Phoenix's fangirls on why he shouldn't and won't win Best Actor this year?

And they said computers would never amount to anything; that'll teach 'em!

So, anyway, it's time to go back into politics again. I shudder. Surely things have gotten worse out there in our venal landscape of plausible deniability and non-stop mendacity? Yet, I must be brave. I must be cunning.

I must be out of my mind.

It was just getting easier to get back outta bed in the morning, visions of gold statuettes dancing in my head, after nearly six hours of mostly restful sleep each night. Nevertheless, I need more out of life than changing lightswitches and Top Ten Performances of 2005 lists. I don't want to stay clueless about America's continued slide into oblivion.


Guess that's using the Internet for something better than buying new shiny icemaker equipped refrigerators and surfing porn. Uh, not that I ever did that last part.


(PS - Discovery Channel is running an encore presentation of Grizzly Man this weekend. Highly recommended for those who've yet to see this amazing, strange film - catch it while it's free!)