Friday, March 31, 2006

Friday Fun Facts

Didya know:

About fifty percent of couples whose names I collect have the same middle initial? You'd think there wouldn't be that many. I see a lot of mirror sets, too -- all three initials the same for husband and wife. So, I guess anyone with the middle initial "M" --- you're my future soulmate and spouse. Or not. Since it presupposes a lot, like I have a soulmate, a future spouse or even a future.

Didya know:

Religious groups practice bait and switch on Google?

It's true. When searching the term painless suicide, for example, the first site on Google comes up with the tag "easiest way to end the pain."

But upon opening, it's all about giving up your life to Jesus, and dying in the sense of being born again. Gah. Imagine what that does to suicidal atheists! People searching for non-invasive, bloodless eternal peace aren't looking to get into heaven - just to get outta hell.

Looking for ways to end it all and finding a bunch of platitudes? Talk about your proverbial straws.

And, uh, aren't Christians not supposed to lie?

The next in line on Google's Suicide lineup is A Practical Guide to Suicide.

Sounds straightforward enough, right? Sure. Except the associated website is www.satanservice.org/coe/suicide/guide.

You know, I didn't even have the huevos to open that page. Satan sponsored suicide or Biblical bait and switch: which is the bigger downer?

And who said death didn't offer choices?

I heard allegations that religious people go to Hell for such acts, but never realized that Lucifer had the requisite servers and web savvy to actively seek new recruits online. Blogging Satan - now we've seen everything.


Didya know:

Wisteria, at least the asian varieties, if left unattended can lift roofs from buildings, and buildings from foundations? Neither did I, until moving here. There's a fabulous Japanese wisteria out back, eternally coupled with the chainlink fence. It managed to send runners out across the yard, on a diagonal, and attempt to choke the life out of a very old lilac tree and evergreen. Its natural proclivity is climbing - and mine is headed for electric and phone wires.

It even sent runners towards the house. As they touch ground they flatten and resemble rubber track from toy race car sets. Across the bottoms of the flat bands grow new roots. Pulling these runners out of the ground is time and strength consuming. One went halfway across the yard!

Last fall I spent a day hacking away at the wisteria, sturdying myself at the prospect of it not blooming for the first time since our first summer here. Seems silly. But the wisteria in bloom is almost supernaturally beautiful, giving off such a heady scent. And I've spent years learning how to work with it, to best engage its desire to bloom.

Nevertheless, I hacked and sawed and took off several feet from the gnarled old trunk. And it literally took hours.

But if I hadn't...well...


"Wisteria have been known to cause structural problems, roof damage, and damage to deck or porch railings. Without regular pruning, wisteria can take over a structure."



Anyway, here's a section of our wisteria, photographed last May in early bloom stages:


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